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Calgary Convention 2008.

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THE MAN WITH THE WEIRD BEARD.
 
 
Straggely raggely hair on his chin
Battered and tattered and ugly as sin
Eagle-eyed and floppy-eared
He's the man with the weird beard
Who is he? what is he? nobody knows
Both of his heels are as bare as his toes
Never had his whiskers sheared
He's the man with the weird beard
 
It ain't black; it ain't white
It ain't short; it ain't long; it ain't right
It's the craziest garden of hair
Seven robins live in there
Walk with him; talk with him; what do you find?
More on his chin than he's got on his mind
That's the story that i heared
About the man with the weird beard.
 
Fever heh heh heh heh fever!
 
Straggely raggely hair on his chin
Battered and tattered and ugly as sin
Eagle-eyed and floppy-eared
He's the man with the weird beard
Who is he? what is he? nobody knows
Both of his heels are as bare as his toes
Never had his whiskers sheared
He's the man with the weird beard
 
It ain't green, uh-unh!
It ain't gray, uh-unh!
It ain't oats; it ain't corn;
It ain't hay, Nay! Nay!
It's a jungle that hangs from his ears
He ain't seen his feet for years
Look at him; look at him; dressed in his best
Wearing a beaver instead of a vest
You ain't lived until you've heared
About the man with the weird beard
 
Fever heh heh heh heh !
Fever heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!
 

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IF I WERE A RICH MAN.
From "Fiddler on the Roof."
 
[SPOKEN]

Dear God, you made many, many poor people.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?
 
[SUNG]

If I were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.
There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.
I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks
For the town to see and hear.
(Insert)Squawking just as noisily as they can. (End Insert)
And each loud "cheep" and "swaqwk" and "honk" and "quack"
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."
If I were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife
With a proper double-chin.
Supervising meals to her heart's delight.
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock.
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.
Screaming at the servants, day and night.
The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
Like a Solomon the Wise.
"If you please, Reb Tevye..."
"Pardon me, Reb Tevye..."
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes!
And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.
When you're rich, they think you really know!
If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit in the synagogue and pray.
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall.
And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were a rich man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.
If I were a wealthy man.
I wouldn't have to work hard.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy rich,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
Lord who mad ethe lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan?
If I were a wealthy man
 
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FOUR STRONG WINDS.
 
CHORUS:
 
Four strong winds that blow lonely
Seven seas that run high
All these things that dont change come what may
Now our good times are all gone
And Im bound for moving on
Ill look for you if Im ever back this way.
 
1) Guess Ill go out to alberta
Weathers good there in the fall
Got some friends that I can go to workin for
Still I wish youd change your mind
If I asked you one more time
But weve been thru that a hundred times or more.  [Chorus]

2) If I get there before the snow flies
And if things are going good
You could meet me if I send you down the fare
But by then it would be winter
Nothing much for you to do
And the wind sure blows cold way out there. [Chorus then FINE)

[FINE] Ill look for you if Im ever back this way
Yes, Ill look for you if Im ever back this way

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HUGGIN' AND CHALKIN'.
By Hoagy Carmichael
 
I got a gal who's mighty sweet
Big blue eyes and tiny feet
Her name is Rosabelle Magee
And she tips the scales at three-oh-three.
 
Oh, gee, but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
That when you go to hug her,
you don't know where you're at!
You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a ways and chalk a mark to see where you began.
 
One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin'
And a-chalkin' and a-huggin' away
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other way over the mountain
A-comin' around the other way

Nobody ever said I'm weak
My bones don't ache,
my joints don't creak.
But I grow pale and I get limp
Every time I see my baby blimp!
 
Oh, gee, but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
That when you go to hug her
You don't know where you're at
You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a bit and chalk a mark to see where you began.
 
One day I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-beggin' her to be my bride
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other side
over the mountain,
A-comin' around the other side.
 
She's a mile wide
Chalkin' up a markdown and yellin', No More.
When I met another fella with some chalk in his hand
A-comin' around the other side .
over the mountain,
Over the Great Divide.

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IN THE STILL OF THE NIGHT.
 
By Cole Porter.

In the still of the night, 
As I gaze from my window,
At the moon in it's flight, 
My thoughts all stray to you.

In the still of the night,
While the world is in slumber,
Oh, the times without number,
Darling, when I say to you:
"Do you love me as I love you?"

"Are you my life to be?
My dream come true?
Or will this dream of mine,
Fade out of sight?
Like the moon, growing dim,
On the rim of the hill,
In the chill, still of the night
?"

[repeat]

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MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAN.

 

1) My Bonnie is over the ocean
My Bonnie is over the sea
My Bonnie is over the ocean
O bring back my Bonnie to me.

CHORUS:

Bring back, bring back
Bring back my Bonnie to me, to me
Bring back, bring back
O bring back my Bonnie to me.

2) O blow, ye winds, over the ocean
And blow, ye winds, over the sea
O blow, ye winds over the ocean
And bring back my Bonnie to me. [chorus]

 

3) Last night as I lay on my pillow
Last night as I lay on my bed
Last night as I lay on my pillow
I dreamed that my Bonnie was dead! [chorus]

 

 

_________*_________

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THE FOX.
 
1) The Fox went out on a chilly night
He prayed for the moon to give him light
For he had many a mile to go that night
Before he reached the town-o, town-o, town-o
He had many a mile to go that night
Before he reached the town-o.

2) He ran till he came to the farmers pen
The ducks and the geese were kept therein
He said a couple of you are gonna grease my chin
Before I leave this town-o, town-o, town-o
A couple of you are gonna grease my chin
Before I leave this town-o.


3) He grabbed the great goose by the neck
He threw a duck across his back
And he didn't mind the quack, quack
And the legs all danglin' down-o, down-o, down-o
He didn't mind the quack, quack
And the legs all danglin' down-o.

Well the old gray Woman jumped out of bed
Out of the window she popped her head
Cryin' John, John the great goose is gone
The Fox is on the town-o, town-o, town-o
John, John the great goose is gone
And the Fox is on the town-o.


4) He ran till he came to his nice warm den
And there were the little ones 8, 9, 10
Sayin' Daddy, Daddy better go back again
It must be a mighty fine town-o, town-o, town-o
Daddy, Daddy go back again
For it must be a mighty fine town-o.

5) The Fox and his Wife, without any strife
They cut up the goose with a fork and a knife
And they never had such a supper in their life
And the little ones chewed on the bones-o, 
      bones-o,  bones-o
They never had such a supper in their life
And the little ones chewed on the bones.

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