The Sing-Song Website.

San Antonio Convention 2002.



* * *

1) The water is wide;

I can't cross o'er,

And neither have I

Wings to fly.

Give me a boat

That can carry two,

And both shall row,

My love and I.


2) A ship there is,

She sails the sea,

She's loaded deep,

As deep can be.

But not so deep

As the love I'm in;

I know not how

I sink or swim.


3) I leaned my back

Against an oak,

Knowing it was

A trusty tree.

At first it bent,

But never broke;

Thus did my love

Prove true to me.


4) Oh, love is handsome,

Love is fine,

Gay as a jewel

When first it's new;

And love grows old,

And ever bold,

And shines as bright

As morning dew.




Theme Song from the Movie--Billy Jack.


1) Listen children, to a story,

that was written long ago.

About a kingdom, on a mountain,

And the valley folk below.

On the mountain, was a treasure,

Burried deep beneath a stone

And the valley people swore

They'd have it for their very own. [chorus]



Go ahead and hate your neighbor,

go ahead and cheat a friend,

Do it in the name of Heaven,

You can justify it in the end.

There wont be any trumpets blowing,

Come the judgement day.

On the bloody morning after,

One Tin Soldier rides away.


2) So the people of the valley,

Sent a message up the hill,

Asking for the buried treasure,

Tons of gold for which they'd kill.

Came an answer, from the kingdom,

With our brothers, we will share,

All the secrets, of our mountain,

All the riches buried there. [chorus]


3) Now the valley, cried with anger,

Mount your horses, draw your swords,

And they killed the, mountain people.

So they won their just rewards.

Now they stand, beside the treasure,

On the mountain, dark and red.

Turned the stone, and looked beneath it...

"Peace on earth" was all it said. [chorus]


Ballad of Springhill.


by Peggy Seeger and Ewan MacColl.

Sung by Peter, Paul, & Mary.


1) In the town of Springhill, Nova Scotia

Down in the heart of the Cumberland Mine

There's blood on the coal and the miners lie

In the roads that never saw sun nor sky.

Roads that never saw sun nor sky.


2) Down at the coalface the miners working

Rattle of the bell - tan the cutter's blade.

Crumble of rock and the walls close round

Living and the dead buried two miles down.

Living and the dead buried two miles down.


3) Twelve men lay two miles from the pitshaft

Listen for the drillin' of a rescue team.

Six hundred feet of coal and slag

Hope imprisoned in a three-foot seam.

Hope imprisoned in a three-foot seam.


4) Eight days passed and some were rescued

Leaving the dead to lie alone.

All their lives they dug their grave

Two miles of earth for a marking stone

Two miles of earth for a marking stone


5) In the town of Springhill you don't sleep easy

Often the earth will tremble and groan

When the earth is restless, miners die

Blood and bone is the price of coal

Bone and blood is the price of coal


You Can't Get a Man With a Gun.


By Irving Berlin.


From Annie Get Your Gun.



INTRO: Oh my Mother was frightened by a shotgun, they say,

That's why I'm such a wonderful shot.

I'd be am out in the cactus and I practice all day,

And now tell me what have I got.


1) I'm quick on the trigger with targets not much bigger

Than a pen point, I'm number one.

But my score with a feller is lower than a cellar-

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.

When I'm with a pistol

I sparkle like a crystal,

Yes, I shine like the morning sun.

But I lose all my luster

When with a Bronco Buster.

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.

With a gun, with a gun,

No, you can't get a man with a gun.

If I went to battle

With someone's herd of cattle

You'd have steak when the job was done.

But if shot the herder,

They'd holler "bloody murder"

And you can't shoot a male

In the tail like a quail

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.


2) I'm cool, brave and daring

To see a lion glaring

When I'm out with my Remington

But a look from a mister

Will raise a fever blister

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.

The gals with "umbrellars"

Are always out with fellers

In the rain or the blazing sun

But a man never trifles

With gals who carry rifles

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.

With a gun, with a gun,

No, you can't get a man with a gun.

A man's love is mighty

It'll leave him buy a nightie

For a gal who he thinks is fun.

But they don't by pajamas

For Pistol packin' mamas,

For a man maybe hot

But He's not, when he's shot

Oh you can't get a man with a gun.


The Slither-ee-dee.


By Tommy Smothers.


Oh The Slithereedee;

He crawled out of the sea,

He may catch all the others but,

He won't catch me.

No he won't catch me,

Stupid ol' Slithereedee;

He may catch all the others but he......

[digestive sound effects].



Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.



Swing low, Sweet Chariot,

Comin' forth to carry me Home.

Swing low, Sweet Chariot,

Comin' forth to carry me home.


1) I looked over Jordan,

What did I see?

Comin' forth to carry me home!

A band of Angels comin' after me,

Comin' forth to carry me home. [chorus]


2) And if you get there, before I do,

Comin' forth to carry me home!

Tell it to the people, that I'm comin' too.

Comin' forth to carry me home! [chorus]



by Eric Bogle

* * *

1) Now when I was a young man I carried my pack

And lived the free life of the rover

From the Murray's Green Basin to the dusty outback

I waltzed my Matilda all over

Then in 1915 my country said "Son,

It's time you stopped rambling, there's work to be done."

So they gave me a tin hat and they gave me a gun

And they mached me away to the war.

* * *


And the band played Waltzing Matilda

As the ship pulled away from the quay

And amidst all the cheers, flag waving and tears We sailed off for Gallipoli


2) And how well I remember that terrible day

How our blood stained the sand and the water

And of how in that hell that they called Souvla Bay

We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter

'Johnny Turk' he was ready, he'd primed himself well

He rained us with bullets and he showered us with shell

And in five minutes flat he'd blown us all to hell

Nearly blew us right back to Australia

* * *


And the band played Waltzing Matilda

While we stopped to bury our slain

We buried ours and the Turks buried theirs

Then it started all over again


3) And those that were left, well we tried to survive

In that mad world of death, blood and fire

And for ten weary weeks I kept myself alive

Though around me the corpses piled higher

Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse-over-head

And when I awoke in my hospital bed

And saw what it had done, well, I wished I was dead

Never knew there was worse things than dying

* * *


For I'll go no more waltzing Matilda

All around the green bush far and free

For to hump tent and pegs a man needs both legs

No more waltzing Matilda for me


4) So, they collected the wounded, the crippled, the maimed

And shipped us back home to Australia

The legless, the armless, the blind, the insane

The proud, wounded heroes of Souvla

And when our ship pulled into Circular Quay

I looked at the place where my legs used to be

And thanked Christ there was no one there waiting for me

To grieve and to mourn and to pity

* * *


But the band played Waltzing Matilda

As they carried us down the gangway

But nobody cheered, they just stood there and stared

Then they turned all their faces away


5) So now every April I sit on my porch

And I watch the parade pass before me

I see my old comrades, how proudly they march

Reliving old dreams and past glories

And the old men march slowly, old bones stiff and sore

They're tired old heroes of a forgotten war

And the young people ask "What are they marching for?"

And I ask myself the same question

* * *


But the band plays Waltzing Matilda

And the old men still answer the call

But as year follows year, more old men disappear

Some day no one will march there at all



Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda

Who'll go a'waltzing Matilda with me?

And their ghosts may be heard as they march by that billabong

Who'll come a'waltzing Matilda with me?




From The Fantasticks.

* * * *

1) When the moon was young,

When the month was May,

When the stage was hung for my holiday,

I saw shining lights, but I never knew,

They were you, they were you, they were you.


2) When the dance was done

When I went my way,

When I tried to find rainbows far away,

All the lovely lights seemed to fade from view,

They were you, they were you, they were you.


3) When the secret pray'r, Every fancy free,

Everything I dared for both you and me.

All my wildest dreams multiplied by two.

They were you, they were you, they were you


4) Without you near me, I can't see

When you're near me,

wonderful things come to be

They were you, they were you, they were you.


One Fat Hand.

Boy Scout Chant-Spoken.


Each ‘verse’ of the chant starts at the beginning,
and adds the next line.

One fat hand

A coupla’ ducks

Three baby brown bears

Four rabbit running hares

Five, fat, fidgety females

Six simple Simons selling salt in Siam

Seven slimy sailors sniffing snuff

Eight elongated elephants, elevated on an escalator

Nine nimmery nose nocks nibbling on nine nimmery nose nocks

And –

Ten, two-ton, two-tone tractor trailer trucks, traveling from Tyler, Texas, to Tullahoma, Tennessee.





If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show
The you I've come to know.

If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.

And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places
at one time, I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today,
beside you all the way.

If the world should stop revolving
spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,

Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.



By Bossom.


You're one in a million
You're one in a million

Sometimes I can't hate you every day
Sometimes you can fall for everyone you see
Only one can really make me stay
A sign from the sky
Said to me.

You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us.

I've been looking for that special one
And I've been searching for someone to give my love
And when I thought that all the hope was gone
You smile, there you were and I was gone.

I always will remember how I felt that day
A feeling indescribable to me
I always knew there was an answer for my prayer
And you, you're the one for me.

You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us. [2x]

I was cool and everything was possible
You tried to catch me but it wasn't possible
Nobody could hurt me it was my game
Until I met you baby and went insane
And when you didn't want me, I wanted you
Because the finer thing bout it was I like to go
I like it when its difficult I like it when it's hard
You know it's worth it if ya find your heart.

You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us
You're one in a million
You're once in a lifetime
You made me discover all the stars above us. [2x]

You're one in a million
You're one in a million.



From The Court Jester (1956)--Danny Kaye.



When I was a lad, I was gloomy and sad
As I was from the day I was born
When other lads giggled and gurgled and wiggled,
I proudly was loudly forlorn.

My friends and my family looked at me clamily,
Thought there was somthing amiss
When others found various antics hilarious,
All I could manage was this, or this, or this.
My father, he shouted, "He needs to be clouted,
His teeth on a wreath I'll hand him!"
My mother, she cried as she rushed to my side,
"You're a brute and you don't understand him!"

So they sent for a witch with a terrible twitch
To as how my future impressed her
She took one look at me, and cried,
"Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee, he?
What else can he but a jester?"
A jester? A jester?! A funny idea, a jester!
No butcher, no baker, no candlestick maker,
And me with the look of a fine undertaker
Impressed her as a jester?

Now where could I learn any comical turn
That was not in a book on the shelf?
No teacher to take me, to mold me and make me
A merry man, fool, or an elf?

But I'm proud to recall that in no time at all
With no other recourses but my own resources
With firm application and determination
I made a fool of myself!

I bought a little gun and I learned to shoot
I bought a little horn and I learned to toot
Now I can shoot and toot, ain't I cute?

I started to travel to try to unravel
My mind and to find a new chance
When I got to Spain it was suddenly plain
That the field it appeared was to dance

The Spanish were clannish, but I wouldn't vanish
And learned every step they had planned
The first step of all isn't hard to recall
Because the first step of all is to stand....and
stand..and stand..and stand..and stand..
They sometimes stand this way for days
Then they get very mad at the floor
and start to stomp on it.

After all of my practice,
the terrible fact is
I made a fool of myself
I sadly decided that dancing as I did
To sing was a thing that was surer
I found me a teacher, a crochety creature
Who used to sing coloratura.

She twisted my chin, pushed my diaphragm in
With a poker she vocalized me
But she said it was best that I threw out my chest
You may gather that rather surprised me.

I was on solid ground till I suddenly found
That in Venice I was to appear
The gala local was a choppy canal
And me a high sea gondolier.

I nervously perched as the gondola lurched
Before the King's palazzo
As I started my song, my voice it was strong
But my stomach I fear was not so.

When I fell overboard how his majesty roared
And before his siesta he made me his jester
And I found out soon that to be a bafoon
Was a serious thing as a rule
For a jester's chief employment
Is to kill himself for your enjoyment
And a jester unemployed is nobody's fool!




World of Toastmasters--21 Yreas.